


Blue and Purple Shenanigans

by orphan_account



Category: LazyTown
Genre: I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did, I love it lol, M/M, One-shot that accidentally turned into a thousand words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Most likely a series of one-shots about our favourite blue jumping kangaroo and purple noodle. :)





	1. 1. The Motor-Trombone

Robbie had never felt so exhilarated in all his life. Wind rushed past his ears, cleared his sinuses, and cooled his warm cheeks from being in such close proximity to the owner of the bike they were riding.  
He flinched as the body beneath his fingers tensed and leaned forward, grabbing tighter hold of the man and wearing a little smile as he rested his head against the man's back. 

"You alright back there, Robbie?" the glorious, sweet Icelandic accent leaked out among the rider's words. Robbie wished his own accent sounded half as adorable. Still, he smiled wider at the man's concern. 

"Oh, just fine, Sportaflop," he purred. "Your biceps are plenty enough to hold onto."

Sportacus said nothing else, which Robbie took to mean he was lost for words. He shuffled. Maybe he shouldn't have been so forward? 

But then Sportacus nuzzled back against Robbie's flesh, and when he looked back at the road, Robbie could clearly make out a smile. 

…

"Well! That was… something!"  
Robbie smoothed down his hair as he lingered on Sportacus' flushed face. 

Sportacus ducked his head and his hat very nearly fell off. "A good something? You did enjoy it, didn't you?" 

"Well, I didn't die, so there's that," said Robbie, but Sportacus could tell he was teasing so he gave a chuckle. 

The two were now underneath Sportacus' blimp, his bike resting nearby. Sportacus' joyride was unfortunately over - secretly, neither wanted to bid the other goodbye. 

Robbie surprised Sportacus by stepping forward, and Sportacus surprised himself by breathing heavier. "You know, Sportanerd, I noticed something." 

"Yeah?" Sportacus panted. 

"Your bike… it's awfully quiet." 

Sportacus frowned. "My bike?" 

"Yes. Your bike. The one parked outside? It purrs."

"So?" 

"So?" Robbie raised an expert eyebrow. "It's not supposed to. Motorcycles are supposed to make a loud, engine sound. Yours doesn't. And I know exactly how to do that."

…

Robbie's trombone was perfect for the job. At first, Sportacus had been skeptical. 

"You're going to play a trombone while we're riding down the streets?" 

Robbie had nodded. "Trust me. I've done it a thousand times before with my brother's bike. It's going to be great." 

Sportacus didn't need to ask who his brother was. The infamous Glanni Glæpur stuck out in everyone's mind, with his expensive taste and drop-dead grogeous figure. It was no wonder his own brother was head-over-heels in love with him. 

So he agreed, bobbing his head at his own expense. 

…

They climbed onto the motorcycle, the trombone in Robbie's grasp as he slid in behind Sportacus and clung to his waist. There was an almost devilish grin on his face when Sportacus turned back to look at him for an instant before fitting a helmet over both their heads. The moment the sports elf started the ignition, they were off and Robbie began to play his trombone. A warbly, brass tone was leaking out from behind Sportacus, and he grimaced at the high volume whereas his motorcycle had been quieter before. 

He revved the bike up and turned right at an intersection, flying onto the highway so they could ride faster. He grinned at the wind blowing through his hair, hoping Robbie could hold on to both him and the trombone at the same time at this speed. Surprisingly, Robbie seemed able to keep the note steady and dig his long fingers into Sportacus' shoulders at the same time, multitasking for his life. Sportacus longed to reach back and touch him, but he couldn't, so he settled for the sound to reassure him. 

The two traveled all over the town, to all corners of the city, and Sportacus had to admit that this time was a lot cooler than the last, with the wind making more noise than the bike. Sportacus reluctantly forced himself to stop the bike underneath the AirShip when they were done, hopping off and holding out a hand to Robbie. The villain waved his hand away, stepped off the bike, and tripped. Sportacus caught him and the trombone before they could hit the ground. Righting the taller man and placing the instrument safely on the ground, he removed his own helmet before Robbie's, wanting to linger on his face, which in Sportacus' opinion, had been carved by angels. 

Robbie froze, simply staring back into Sportacus' blue eyes before glancing down at his trombone. "What- what are you doing, Sportaflop? You really liked my trombone-playing, huh?"  
He was shaking. Sportacus smiled, stroked down the side of the man's face, arms stretching up to reach Robbie. It was worth it. 

"Yes, yes, I did." he replied, and pulled Robbie's face down to his before the former could protest. 

Robbie's lips were sickly sweet, tasting of icing and sugar and everything Sportacus had ever tasted in those candy apples Robbie slipped him. Something he wanted but that which was out of his grasp. Sportacus wondered if he could have a melt-down from only the taste of Robbie's lips. He decided that if he did, it would be so worth it. Besides, Robbie seemed to be responding. It was a slow, heady movement, but the villain wasn't pushing him away, and his mouth seemed to be working in response. In any case, Sportacus didn't want to open his eyes to check. 

It was him who finally pulled away, though. Sheepishly, in an embarrassment reminiscent of his younger days, Sportacus rubbed the back of his head and grinned, blushing. 

Robbie touched his lips softly with the fingers of one hand. "That - that was -" he started, but faltered, the words failing him. "I- Sportaflop, you-?"

"Of course, I like you, Robbie," nodded Sportacus, and he leaned forward to link their fingers, two opposites and yet Yin and Yang. He went even redder. "That was a good kiss." 

"Are you kidding me?" boomed Robbie. His words had come back, evidently, and now he was grinning. "That kiss was the greatest - and only - kiss I've ever gotten." 

Sportacus tilted his head to the side, the compliment lost on him. "Oh, Robbie, you've never been kissed before?" 

Robbie only nodded. "You're the only one who has ever kissed me. Or, I guess, liked me enough to kiss me." 

A grin lit up the elf's face, and he raised an eyebrow. "Would you like a second kiss, then?" 

Robbie's lips were moist from the instrument, even moister still from the first time Sportacus had kissed him, which was another reason why being kissed by Robbie caught him so off guard. The noises he made, too, were music to Sportacus' pointed ears. He cupped his hands around the material of Robbie's outift as Robbie's hands held either side of Sportacus' face. "Mmm," murmured Sportacus, and he could feel Robbie smile. 

When they pulled away, Sportacus smiled at Robbie, and kissed his cheek. The red saturation in the villain's cheeks made everything he had ever done worthwhile. Who knew this could all be caused by a trombone?


	2. 2. Movie Night

"I can't believe I agreed to this," grumbled Robbie Rotten. The microwave beeped, making him yelp in fright and then growl as he opened it. "I hate popcorn! Why do I have to make it? Oh, because Sportaflop and his brood of sports ducklings are here to watch movies!" 

The popcorn bag had expanded, so Robbie muttered under his breath as he separated the substance into six bowls. Picking up his plate of cake finally, he wobbled into the living room and plopped onto the loveseat to lie down by himself, leaving the bowls on the floor for the others to sort out whose was whose. He ignored how Sportacus' smile was sending butterflies and crap into his chubby stomach, and pointedly turned on the television. "So, what are we watching, Sportaloon and brats?" 

Five voices chimed in to protest Robbie's nickname for them, but Sportacus only smiled at the villain's predictable sneer. "I don't know. I can watch whatever the kids want to watch." 

The black haired girl's eyes lit up; Robbie could see them from his perch atop the couch. "Can we please watch 'The Zombies from MayhemTown'?" she begged. "It's really good!" 

Sportacus frowned. "I'm not sure that sounds very appropriate, Trixie. What's the rating?" 

Loud girl seemed reluctant to answer, but she was able to mutter, "PG-13,"

So that was out of the question. Although, Robbie would have liked to see such a movie. It sounded interesting. Plus, anything that Sportakook disapproved of, Robbie approved of one hundred percent. 

"Next?" asked Sportacus with a smile. 

The computer kid raised his hand slightly, and waited only a moment before he pulled a worn DVD case from his pocket. 

"'A Digital World'?" asked Sportacus, pulling the case from the child's grasp. "What's this about?" 

The kid beamed. "Well, it's basically about what would happen if computers were to take over our world! I've seen it fifty times, it's really good; very insightful." 

Sportacus seemed to consider this, but Robbie yawned loudly. 

"Sounds boring," he complained. "I liked Loud Girl's choice better." 

Trixie thrust a triumphant little fist in the air. "Yes! See, Sportacus? Robbie likes my movie!" 

"Yes, Trixie, but yours is not appropriate for anyone here but Robbie and me." said the elf dismissively. 

"Hey, and I never said I liked your choice, Loud Girl," interjected Robbie. "It's just more appealing than whatever the other one is." 

"Whatever, Robbie," said Trixie with a roll of her eyes. 

Sportacus handed the case back to the whiz kid, who looked somewhat crestfallen. "We'll make it an option, alright? Next?" 

Next was Pinky, who proposed that they should watch a stupid-looking movie called, "Friends Always Save the Day!" 

This one had even Sportacus cringing as he looked down at the DVD case, and then back at Stephanie, who was looking expectantly at both Robbie and Sportacus. "It's all about teamwork, and saving the day!" she said, biting her lip with excitement. 

Sportacus looked at Robbie for help, and seeing the other man's helpless shrug, turned back to the child. "Uh, great choice, Stephanie!" he said enthusiastically. "It sounds like it has a great message! For now, we'll keep it as an option, along with Pixel's, alright?" 

Pink Girl seemed to accept this, and sat back down with a plop. 

Next was that rich kid, who practically thrust his DVD case into Sportacus' hands. "Here's mine!" he cried. His yellow pig onesie creased as he sat down in front of the hero. Sportacus took the case, and held it in front of him to read the title. "Hmm, 'The Fortune Teller's Fortune'." 

Stinky nodded. "It's a classic, really," he bragged. "My dad got it for me last week, I love it."  
He rubbed a little fist against the fabric of the onesie as if to clean it. "Pretty expensive, too." he added.

Sportacus nodded back slowly. "Well, I suppose we can make it an option," he agreed. "Alright, and last but not least is Ziggy's choice." 

The small, blond-haired child, dressed in a blue onesie, inched forwards on his bum, gifting the hero with another DVD case. On the cover was a man who looked a lot like Sportacus, with a blue mask and a blue cape.  
"It's pretty cool, huh?" he asked, beaming adorably. "About superheroes, just like you, Sportacus!" 

Sportacus and even Robbie couldn't help but smile at how cute the little boy was. Sportacus nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, Ziggy! He is just like me!" he praised, "Definitely an option." 

Placing the DVD case on the ground among the others, Sportacus looked around at the children and up at Robbie, who had finished his cake. "What are you staring at, Sportaflop?" sneered the villain, frowning. Sportacus shook his head lightly, and answered, "Which movie do you think we should watch?" 

"Personally, none of them. I think they're all boring, except for Loud Girl's choice, that horror movie." Robbie said, licking his fingers of the icing. 

Sportacus turned back to the kids, not surprised at Robbie's answer. "Alright, kids, looks like we'll need to vote. How many votes for Pixel's movie?" 

Two hands went up - Pixel's and Stephanie's. 

"How many for Stephanie's movie?" asked Sportacus subsequently.

Stephanie's and Ziggy's hands went up. 

"Okay... How many for Stingy's movie?" 

Stingy's, Stephanie's and Trixie's hands went up. Stingy smirked in satisfaction. 

Sportacus adjusted his goggles. "Okay," he continued. "Finally, how many vote for Ziggy's movie?" 

Ziggy's and Stephanie's hands went up. Sportacus nodded, having received the information he needed. "Alright. It looks like we have more votes for Stingy's movie." he said. "We have three for 'The Fortune Teller's Fortune', while only two each for the others."  
He looked around at the kids, and then up at Robbie. "Stingy's movie, it is!" 

Robbie rolled his eyes and got up to get more cake. 

...

Robbie refilled his plate with cake several more times over the course of the movie, which wasn't too bad. Robbie was reminded of the Kids' little puppet show with the fortune teller when he looked at the screen, and it caused a fond smile to spread across his face in spite of himself. He even looked down at the Sportanerd and smiled at him too. 

The two couldn't help but notice, however, how quickly the kids were falling asleep as the movie progressed. They were practically dropping off like little flies. First, Ziggy stretched out and started to softly snore, using his lollipop as a pillow. Then, Pixel leaned back against Robbie's couch and nodded off. Next was Trixie, who fell over onto her stomach, and then Stephanie, who laid peacefully next to Ziggy, and finally, Stingy, who had tried to stay awake longer but was admittedly failing to keep his eyes open and soon fell asleep atop Pixel's back. 

Sportacus and Robbie had a pile of sleeping children to clear off the floor. Robbie, who enjoyed his peace and quiet, loved that they were sleeping, and thought to himself that they looked slightly cute. Sportacus thought they looked adorable, but worried about how he'd be able to get them out without waking them. 

The movie finished to no fanfare, leaving the two men burdened with the kids. Robbie looked at Sportacus, and Sportacus looked back at Robbie. 

"Hey, you're the bodybuilder," said Robbie, as he stood, preparing to put his dirty dish on the side table. "You figure out how to move these angels without waking them. Or how to move them, period, because I cannot lift them. Too heavy." 

Sportacus cocked his head with a smile. "Did you call them angels?"

Robbie's eyes went wide for a second before he recovered. "No. I said they were little demons who were crowding my living room floor! Now chop-chop! Let's get them back to their parents."

Sportacus knew what he'd heard, and was delighted that Robbie actually liked the kids, whom he loved so much. Before he could think better of it he leaned in and captured Robbie's lips in a soft, grateful kiss. "Robbie, it's ok," he said afterwards, smiling at the villain's bright red blush. 

Robbie cleared his throat. "Alright, but I'm using magic to do it." 

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea that Robbie would have the best movie nights.


	3. 3. Fae and Elf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the way this one turned out. I've always loved the headcanon that Robbie is a fae to complement Sportacus as an elf, so I guess this is my take on it.

Robbie had been fae all his life. His mother was full fae, and his father was half, so Robbie and his brother Glanni were somewhat of three quarters fae. The other quarter was the human part of them. 

All his life, unlike Glanni, who flaunted his gift the way he did his beauty, Robbie had tried to hide his magic. It had been easier when he was a child, when he wasn't at a turbulent age and he could keep what little magical potential he showed under wraps. 

So he was able to lead a normal life, and his parents, though disappointed by the decision, placed him in a public school rather than the renowned school of Magic in their hometown of Iceland because of his lack of apparent magical potential. 

It was during his early teens that things started to go out of control. Robbie was going through puberty, which he hated entirely too much, and this threw his control over his magic out of the window. 

Along with acne and growth spurts came accidental spell casting at random moments, levitation, telepathy and others Robbie hated with a passion. They were cool enough powers when they were experienced once. But repeated made a recipe for disaster. Where Glanni had mastered his magic from the early age of thirteen, Robbie found himself unable to control it until his twenties. 

Even now his magic was somewhat out of control. But he was lucky enough that the people of LazyTown were so oblivious and stupid, plus entirely human. There were no other fae in LazyTown; Robbie was sure. If there were, the town would surely be suspicious. 

Another fae would be able to tell it wasn't only glitter and fab that brought his costumes to life. They would see his slips of his abilities, such as teleportation and the like, and they would no doubt make him leave LazyTown for being a danger to the citizens. 

Thinking about it, Robbie supposed they would be right, but he didn't really want to leave LazyTown. So keeping the whole fae thing a secret even from those loons was a necessity. 

...

He was napping on a bench at night when he discovered a flaw in his plan. Feeling discomfort and hurt in his lower back, he rolled over, thinking it was only him getting old. He rubbed the spot hard in an attempt to make the pain go away - and gasped. There were two little bumps protruding under the fabric, and they tingled when Robbie touched them. He knew he had to race home as fast as he could and investigate. If they were what he thought they were, he was in big trouble. 

Unfortunately, this was one of the nights that Sportacus was up later than usual. As Robbie rushed through to his billboard, the blue hero was flipping away all over town, trying to get his energy out. He saw Robbie running mid-flip and grinned as he landed. 

"Hi, Robbie!" he called cheerfully as he raced to catch up with him. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" 

Robbie heaved a giant groan of exasperation. He quickly turned round as Sportacus approached, and laid his hands flat against the bumps so the man couldn't see. "None of your business, Sportanosy!" he chided. "Shouldn't you be in bed, anyway?" 

Sportacus only smiled. "No. I don't always have to go to bed at 8:08, you know, Robbie. Most of the time I do, but that's only for the kids." 

"Right."  
Robbie sneered. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'm leaving. Don't try to follow me, Sportaloon." 

Sportacus shrugged then. "Okay. Good night, Robbie!" 

Robbie grumbled and turned back around, taking his hands away from the bumps. Sportacus caught a glimpse of them in passing. He frowned. 

"What could that be?" he asked himself curiously. "I wonder... No, that's impossible. Still, I have been feeling the presence of magic ever since I got here. Could it be?" 

...

Robbie climbed rapidly down into his bunker. He wheezed as his feet hit the floor, and immediately began to remove his costume. His shirt now off, he reached back to skim a hand over the bumps, more than a little afraid of what he might find. When he felt the velvety tips of delicate wings protruding from the skin, he sighed in chagrin. 

"Oh, no,"  
He squeezed his eyes shut, anguished. "This is not good." 

He tested further up his back, his dread growing along with the size of the wings. They were biggest near his upper and middle back, sprouting as if by magic, which Robbie knew was the case. He could feel the tingles of the stuff shooting through his body, and wondered at his bad luck. 

"Is it even possible for someone to be so unlucky?" he lamented, shivering as the cold of his lair touched his bare skin. "Now I'll be even more obvious. I'll have to run myself out of town." 

Robbie felt completely hopeless. Usually fae got their wings earlier than his age, if they ever did. Once you passed a certain age and you hadn't gotten them, you would never get them at all. Robbie was apparently not that lucky. 

Briefly he considered cutting them off - but that would be all too painful. Besides, they'd probably find a way to grow back. He groaned, slumping onto his orange couch and turning on the television, preparing for another restless night. If he couldn't do anything about them, he supposed his wings were here to stay. 

...

Sportacus held himself back from going after Robbie that night. He figured the villain wanted his privacy, or else he wouldn't have hurried off so quickly. But his curiosity was a burden. Had those bumps under Robbie's shirt been what he thought they were? Or had he been imagining them? 

He thought they were the stubs of wings, shoved underneath the fabric and suffocating. He'd seen them before on one of his friends, before he'd become a hero. Back in Iceland, there had been a lot of magical folk - he himself belonged to a clan of wood elves, which nobody but his family knew about - and one of his best friends had been a faerie. He'd been born with wings but he had always been embarrassed by them, and had hidden them under his clothes whenever he could. 

Could this be what was happening to Robbie? It would explain his erratic behaviour - but didn't Robbie always act like that? Sportacus was very honestly confused. But it would make sense. If Robbie was actually a fae, all his disguises and elusiveness, plus his incredibly slim form despite his horrible diet of cakes and sugar, would be explained. Sportacus knew the fae were great shapeshifters, and also that they could slim down in size whenever they wanted to. He also knew Robbie would never tell him something like that, but still, he wondered. 

And so he began to study the man very closely. 

...

The next day when Robbie came out and lounged on a bench near his lair, eating a slice of cake, Sportacus flipped over. 

"Hi, Robbie!" he called. "What are you doing?" 

Robbie startled but managed to keep the cake steady. "Who wants to know?" he asked in suspicion, raising an eyebrow. 

Sportacus laughed. "Me! You looked lonely over here!" 

"Lonely, pah! I'm not lonely, Sportadoof. Now go away."  
He returned to his cake with new zeal. 

Sportacus could feel himself pouting. "But Robbie... I just wanted to see how you were doing. You worried me when you hurried back to your bunker like that last night." 

At this, Robbie seemed to become nervous. "Uh, hurried? I wouldn't say I hurried, per se... And- and how is it any of your business, Sportaspoon? Since when have you started spying on me?" 

"Fine, Robbie. I just have one question." 

"Hmm?"  
Robbie licked his fork clean. 

"Do your wings hurt when you lie on them like that?" 

Robbie shot off the bench faster than Sportacus had ever thought possible for him. When Robbie looked round at him, he looked almost furious. "Who- how-" he sputtered, face going red. 

"I saw the bumps," explained Sportacus, "and I just guessed. You're fae." 

Sighing, Robbie sat back down on the bench. "Well, I guess I'll start packing now." 

"What do you mean?" asked Sportacus, alarmed. He sat next to him on the bench. "Why do you have to pack?"  
His blue eyes were wide. He reached across and placed a gentle hand on Robbie's shoulder. 

Robbie made no move to scoot away as he looked into Sportacus' eyes. "Because, Sportaloon," he started snidely, "since you know I'm a fae, the whole town is gonna find out." 

"I swear I won't tell," promised the hero. "You have my word I won't." 

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"  
Robbie raised an eyebrow. "I know how big a blabbermouth you are. You'll blab it to whoever's listening." 

Sportacus shook his head solemnly. "No, Robbie. I promise I won't tell." he repeated, and sensing it sounded like an empty oath to the fae, he added, "I will swear it on sportscandy if I have to." 

"Wow. Swearing on your precious sportscandy just for me." Robbie sneered, but he was smiling. "Alright, Sportashort. You've got a deal."

Sportacus smiled back, holding his hand out. Robbie shook it. 

"And to convince you I will not tell, I will tell you a secret." 

"Hmm? What's that?" 

"I am an elf." 

Robbie snorted. "I know that." 

"No, Robbie -"  
Sportacus shook his head. "I actually am an elf. Specifically, wood elf."  
With that, he pulled his cap to one side so that his left ear was exposed. Robbie gasped. 

"It's-it's pointy!" he yelped. His cake flew out of his hands in his shock. "What!" 

"Yes." 

"Wow..." Robbie whispered, and reached out to touch the ear. His eyes held mesmerization and wonder, a complete change of tone from his suspicion earlier. 

Sportacus wiggled his ear a little in response to Robbie's albeit gentle touch. It felt nice - he had to stop himself from sighing in satisfaction. 

"This - this makes so much sense," Robbie was saying softly. "You have no idea how long I've been trying to puzzle out how you got so much energy. Surely a human couldn't stay on their feet so long, or outrun children, but you do." 

Sportacus nodded. "Some of it is hero training, but most of it is owing to my heritage. It was always a mystery to me, also, how you do what you do. All those disguises, and no one suspects a thing."

Robbie smirked. "That's magic for you. But truthfully, I always hated being fae." 

"Why?"  
Sportacus tilted his head. "I would love to have your powers." 

"I'm embarrassed by it," shrugged Robbie. "It's been uncontrollable since I was a teenager. And now, these hideous wings are going to torture me forever." 

"I don't think they're hideous," said Sportacus all too soon. 

Robbie raised an eyebrow. "You haven't even seen them." 

"I-I mean-"  
The hero was blushing. "I don't think they would be hideous, if I saw them." 

"Hmm. Thanks," said Robbie begrudgingly. "Um, your ears don't look completely ugly, either." 

Sportacus beamed. "Thank you!" 

...

After having learned one another's secrets, LazyTown's only magical residents slowly became closer. They were still enemies, by some token, but they were also occasional friends. Robbie put out less traps for the hero, and in return, Sportacus always made sure the kids weren't bothering him so he could get some sleep once in a while. 

It had been about one month of this before their relationship progressed. 

...

Sportacus hadn't intentionally stumbled into Robbie's lair so intrusively. It had simply been a mistake. But a fateful mistake. 

It was one of those days when Robbie hadn't come out of his house the whole day. Sportacus noticed this when the kids pointed it out to him, while they were playing football. Stephanie had been playing the game with a worried look on her face, her brows pinched together. When they took a break, Sportacus went to her. 

"Stephanie, what's wrong?" he asked, lowering himself to her level and handing her a water bottle. 

Stephanie gave a one-sided smile. "I'm just worried about Robbie. He hadn't been out all day." 

At this, the other kids came over. 

"Yeah," said Ziggy, nodding in agreement. "Where is he, huh?" 

Trixie, Pixel and Stingy all voiced their agreement. They had grown to like Robbie more now that he wasn't putting down traps for their hero all the time. In fact, they all respected him now. 

Sportacus frowned then. "You're right, guys. I haven't seen Robbie today, either." 

"Maybe he's down in his bunker," Stingy pointed out. "He could just be sleeping." 

Sportacus stood up and looked toward the bunker. He didn't want to take that chance. "You guys continue playing. I'll go check on him." he said, and dashed off toward the billboard.

...

The bunker door was sealed tight when Sportacus got to it. He tugged on it hard and managed to open it with a grunt. "Robbie?" he called down. "Robbie, are you okay?" 

He got no answer. Seeing no other choice, he climbed down inside it, falling onto the smooth, cold floor. He spied Robbie from afar, dozing in his chair, and smiled. However, the wind was quickly knocked out of him when he saw that Robbie's shirt was quite missing. He blushed - hard. 

Robbie didn't give himself credit - he had decent-sized arm muscles and a well-built chest. He was skinny, too - not too skinny, just slim. On top of this, Sportacus could see a bit of a shimmer poking up behind the other man's head.

He crept closer without meaning to, until he was right up close to the sleeping man. He could feel his breath hitching in his throat being so close to him, and smiled when he saw the peacefulness in Robbie's face.

With one hand, Sportacus reached out slowly toward the shimmer, and before he could stop himself, his hand was touching the light, fluttery tip of one of Robbie's wings. It felt so delicate in his hand, as if it would break if he moved even the slightest bit. 

Unfortunately, it was also very sensitive, as Robbie woke with a jolt as soon as he touched it. 

For a few moments, the two just stared at each other, both too scared to move. Robbie was the first to shift out of his chair - only to throw a blanket over his bare chest. His cheeks were red. 

"What are you doing here, Sportaflop?" he growled. 

Sportacus stuttered. "Uh- um... I-I was just - you didn't come out of your bunker, so- so, the kids and I got worried. I came to check on you."  
His eyes got stuck on Robbie's back. The wings were fully exposed now, both of them. His face grew hot. "But, wow. They're gorgeous, Robbie." 

Robbie craned his neck backwards as if he'd be able to see them himself. He eventually turned so Sportacus could see them better. 

Sportacus gasped - they were a light lavender colour, with swirls of silver all down the sides like curly-que handwriting. The tips glowed in the light from Robbie's table lamp, soft, like a dying fire. Sportacus longed to touch them again. 

"Oh, Robbie..."

"Yes, I know, I know," snapped Robbie. "They're beautiful. Take a good look at them, Sportastare. They're going to be disappearing under my shirt in a moment." 

"Can I touch them again?" asked Sportacus softly. 

Robbie raised an eyebrow. "You want to touch them? Again?" 

"Yes. Robbie, they're lovely." 

Sportacus was staring at the wings with a fierce love burning in his eyes. When he shifted this gaze down to Robbie's face, the villain blushed harder and looked away. 

"W-well, I suppose," he consented. 

Sportacus stole closer within the moment. His hand reached out and brushed the wings - both of them this time. Immediately they flexed; Robbie's breath hitched, like Sportacus' had when he'd touched his ear. 

"They're also very sensitive," Robbie told him, "So be careful." 

Sportacus nodded. "I know." 

He went back to stroking the wings again and observed how they turned red with Robbie's face. He smiled to think Robbie was bashful. 

"Are you alright, Robbie?" he asked. 

Robbie responded after a moment's hesitation. "I'd be a lot better if you'd get your hand off my wings."

Reluctantly Sportacus drew his hand away. "Sorry."

But then Robbie scootched forward and grabbed the hero's hands, pulling him even closer to the sofa. Sportacus' blush flared up again as their foreheads met, and he closed his eyes, breathing evenly. "Robbie..." he murmured.

"Shut up, Sportaspurt." 

Sportacus didn't protest when Robbie's hands grabbed at his chest and pulled him down until their lips touched. The minute their lips made contact, Sportacus sighed contentedly, closing his eyes. His arms braced against the back of the sofa while Robbie deepened the kiss slightly, before reluctantly pulling away.

Robbie looked almost apologetic when Sportacus opened his eyes. "I've wanted to do that forever, but moreso since I saw your ears." he explained sheepishly. 

Sportacus gave him a grin. "And I'd be lying if I said your wings didn't make me want to kiss you any more." he admitted. 

"Guess we both have secrets," smirked Robbie, and seized the front of the elf's shirt again. 

...


	4. 4. Makeup with Glanni and Robbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just... Glanni. 
> 
> I love him.
> 
> Be warned of his language.

"You robbed a what?" Robbie screeched into the phone. 

"Relax, Robbie," breezed the ever-calm voice of Robbie's brother Glanni. "It was just a Sephora." 

"Just a-"  
Robbie clutched at his hair. "Glanni, how did you even get out again?" 

"I have my ways," said Glanni in that coy way that meant he'd done something with his (self-proclaimed) bodacious body in order to release himself from his prison cell. Or perhaps it was because MayhemTown had the flimsiest jail cells Robbie had ever seen in his life. 

"Okay, going back to the fact that you robbed the biggest makeup store in town!" cried Robbie. "What did you steal this time?"

"Um, I don't even remember. I stopped counting after a while. You know, it is surprisingly easy to get in without tripping the alarms for such a big store. You'd think it would be more heavily guarded." 

"It's MayhemTown," Robbie pointed out, slumping onto his sofa and pulling his bowl of premade marshamallows towards himself. "How many people live there?" 

"Seven maybe," said Glanni. "Anyways, the point is, I have more makeup than I weigh pounds. Let's use it!" 

...

Robbie had no idea why he was agreeing to this. Perhaps it was all the makeup that enticed him, or maybe he just wanted to spend some time with his brother for once in his miserable life. Either way, he found himself dreading it soon enough. 

When Glanni finally breezed into his bunker, he was lugging a giant sack behind him that glittered with magical energy. Robbie stared first at it, and then at him. 

Glanni smirked, holding it down with one stilettoed foot while the other tapped against the ground. "Robbie! It's been too long!" 

Robbie inched forwards off his chair, popped a marshmallow into his mouth. "Well, you did just spend nine months in prison."

His brother waved a hand dismissively. "Nuance."

"So what did you do to make Íþró mad this time?" Robbie smirked. "Smear his face with your lipstick?" 

"Íþróttaálfuckface is a huge dick." Glanni cursed, stepping down from the bag. He pulled the string around the top loose and pushed it over so the makeup spilled out across the floor. 

"Don't you mean, has a huge -" 

"And you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to sneak past everyone undetected." Glanni cut Robbie off. "I put a temporary altering spell on myself; disguised as a mailman. Thank God you don't have one here." 

Robbie laughed. "Well, you don't need to even waste your magic. Those peabrains are so dimwitted, I could put on a moustache and they wouldn't know it was still me." 

"But I'm a wanted criminal who just escaped from jail." 

"Eh."   
Robbie shrugged. "They don't read the news." 

"Whatever."   
Glanni knelt down over the makeup, and emitted a tiny shriek of excitement. "I can't wait to get into this shit!" 

Robbie couldn't help but stare at the makeup. Even though it was wrong, it looked so right. "So what should we do with it first?" he asked. 

Glanni smirked. He picked up a mascara and some black lipstick. "Glad you asked. I have the greatest idea."

...

"You want to do a makeup channel?"   
Robbie wrinkled his nose. "Why?" 

"Uh, because," Glanni ducked his head, shaking it as if the answer were obvious. "We have a shit ton of makeup from fucking Sephora here, what else are we supposed to do with it?" 

Robbie looked at a purple powder compact in his hand. "But we're the Glæpur siblings. Won't we get arrested?" 

Glanni shook his head. "I don't think so. It's not like it's doing anyone any harm. Come on, let's try it out!" 

...

Luckily, Robbie had a camera and a tripod. He set both up and quickly started recording. 

Glanni started speaking right away, shooting the camera a photogenic smile. "Hi, I'm Glanni, and this is my brother, Robbie. We're going to be displaying our makeup skills in this video. So hold onto your seats, bitches." 

Robbie gave him a look, but Glanni just carried on. 

"Okay, Sephora haul!" he squealed, bringing a handful of makeup products towards himself and Robbie. 

Robbie grabbed blush and a brush first. "I think I will start with blush," he explained. 

"Good thinking," nodded Glanni. "We could do reviews. So let's start with the blush first. What brand?" 

Robbie shrugged. "Whichever." He was used to using magic to apply makeup, so he hadn't familiarized himself with brand names. 

Luckily, Glanni knew all the brand names for both of them. 

"So," said Glanni with a wave of his hand. "I think we should start with everyone's favourite low-price brand. Avon." 

Instinctively, Robbie shuddered. Low-price didn't sound like it was of a good quality. "Alright." he agreed, begrudgingly. 

The minute Robbie put on the blush, he coughed. "Ugh, I can't breathe," 

Glanni took the brush from him. "That's because you're not doing it right." 

He stroked the blush across Robbie's cheeks with an expert hand. Robbie stopped coughing. 

After awhile, Glanni grimaced. "I don't like it, but here it is."   
He handed his brother a mirror and Robbie peered into it. 

His cheeks were dusted a light pink. "I can't really see a difference," he noted. 

"Exactly," Glanni replied, and turned to the camera. "That's why we don't wear this brand, folks. Trash!"

...

After the video had been recorded, Robbie uploaded it to YouTube. "There we go. We're probably only going to get views from Mamma." 

Glanni laughed, plopping into his chair. "So be it, then. She always knew we were awesome."   
He settled down and smacked his lips loudly. "If you don't mind," he said, yawning. "I'm just gonna take a nap." 

Robbie rolled his eyes. "Well, I might as well go see what those brats are up to." 

He made his way out of the bunker, slamming the hatch door shut behind him so as to hopefully rudely wake Glanni. Emerging from the billboard, the sounds of children at play grated on his eardrums. He gritted his teeth and stomped over to the playground, where the kids were all gathered to play a game of soccer. 

"Hi, Robbie!" the candy brained one called cheerfully when he saw the villain approach. "Wanna play?" 

Robbie frowned as the other kids looked round at him curiously. "Play? Soccer? Me? You must be mistaken."

"No,"   
The pink-haired girl shook her head, smiling. "If you want to play with us, Robbie, you can." 

Robbie huffed. He crossed his arms. "Hmm. I'd rather not." 

The kids looked disappointed but nodded at this. It almost made Robbie feel bad. Almost. 

But then the yellow one made his way over, business etched into his tiny face. "Ahem, Mr. Rotten," he commanded attention. 

Robbie turned to him. "What do you want, Slinky?"

"It's Stingy," muttered Stinky. "And I was just going to compliment you on your makeup."

"My makeup?"   
Robbie reached up and felt his face. "Oh. Thank you." 

Techy Boy came over and nodded. "Yeah! You look nice, Robbie!" 

Some semblance of a smile appeared on Robbie's face. He wondered why these kids would give him compliments when he was always so mean to them. "Thank you, Pixel." 

Just at that moment, Sportacus flipped over. "Hi, guys! Need another player?" 

"Yay!" cried the kids. 

Robbie groaned, exasperated. "See ya later, Sportaloon." 

He turned to leave, only to be caught back by Sportacus' hand on his shoulder. 

"Where are you going, Robbie?" the hero asked. 

"Back to my house," snapped Robbie. "There's nothing for me to do here."

"Wait." said Sportacus, clutching his arm still. His blue eyes searched Robbie's face, before he smiled. "I like your makeup." 

When Robbie got home, he wore a blush that had nothing to do with Avon. 

...


	5. 5. A Pirate is Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pirate!Robbie and Pirate!Sportacus are gay.

Sportacus stared. 

It wasn't just that Robbie looked good in his pirate costume, he looked devilishly handsome. The flush that clouded his cheeks when they were finished battling had nothing to do with the exercise. 

"Uh, truce, Rottenbeard,"   
He held out a hand to the pirate. "Good battle."  
Battle? Game?

Robbie shook his hand with an amused smile. "Even though I clearly won, I accept your truce." 

The smile alone was enough to send Sportacus' insides into a fluttery turmoil. "Y-yes, I suppose you did." he stuttered through a blush. He was hopeless to say anything else. 

Stephanie, who Sportacus had forgotten was still nearby, was indignant. She pressed her fists into her sides and frowned. "No, you won, Sportacus! He didn't!" 

Robbie knelt to her level with a fake smile. "You are surely mistaken. I won, fair and square. Now go off and play with the others."

The eight year-old wasn't happy, but she did obey. Perhaps a part of her knew it was really Robbie beneath the costume, like Sportacus did. In any case, she left the two of them alone. 

Sportacus turned back to Robbie. "I don't care who won. All that matters is that we had fun." he said, beaming. 

Robbie huffed. "Yeah, sure. You had a lot of fun, I bet."

Sportacus looked down to hide his flaming cheeks - the statement wasn't entirely untrue. He had stolen small glances at Robbie throughout the whole swordfight, whenever a particular angle had him stick out his behind more than usual. He had also tried to brush the villain's behind on more than one occasion with his racket. Once, it had even worked. 

"I did have fun," the hero admitted. He looked back up into Robbie's eyes and smiled. "Your costume suits you very well, Robbie."  
Now, thinking of the shenanigans, Sportacus bit his lip with a coy stare. 

At this, Robbie's eyes grew wide and his face turned red. "I-I'm not Robbie- who is this Robbie you speak of?"

Sportacus rolled his eyes fondly. "Really, Robbie. I'm not a child. You have them fooled, but I know it's you."

Robbie swallowed as if his mouth was dry. "All this time...? You knew?" 

Sportacus nodded. 

"Then - why didn't you ever tell anyone?" 

"Nobody needs to know," shrugged the hero. "And everyone's having such fun with your disguises. Aren't you also?" 

Robbie nodded. He placed a hand atop his pirate hat, gripping it so as to take it off. "Yes, I suppose." 

Before Sportacus could even process what he was doing, he had thrown out a hand and tested it on top of the hat, directly over Robbie's own. "No!"

Robbie stared at him, alarmed. "Uhhhhh..."

Sportacus blushed immediately, his fingers brushing against Robbie's warm, smooth skin. "Oh, I mean - I'm sorry. I was just  -" 

Robbie looked at him funny for a few seconds before grinning. "Really enjoying my beauty, aren't we?" 

Sportacus breathed out dremaily. "Yeah..." 

"Hmm. Well, then, Sportathirsty, you'll enjoy this." 

With that, Robbie pulled Sportacus' hands into his own so they were closer. Sportacus could feel the villain's breath in his face - it smelled sweet, like chocolate and mint. He looked up into Robbie's grey eyes just as the taller man leaned down to kiss his cheek. 

Sportacus blushed. The tenderness of the kiss created goosebumps all over his cheek and sent butterflies tumbling into his stomach. It felt like a gentle whisper of what was to come. 

"There," said Robbie at last. He was smiling almost as tenderly as the kiss when he looked down at the hero. "How's that?" 

Sportacus reached up to feel his skin where Robbie had kissed it, and beamed. "Thank you, Robbie!" he cheered. Before he could stop, he had tackled Robbie into a hug and leaned up on his tiptoes at the same time, brushing their lips together. 

Sportacus gave Robbie room to step back almost apologetically, but Robbie didn't step back. In fact, he did quite the opposite. He leaned closer. His pirate hat grazed Sportacus' head for an instant as he peered into his blue eyes.   
"You like me, Sportaflop?" he asked. 

Sportacus was taken aback - of course, he liked Robbie! What kind of a question was that? But then he smiled. "Of course! I love you!"   
Covering his mouth, the town hero flushed red. He hadn't meant to disclose that. 

Robbie drew away then. His cheeks were also red. "I-um, wow."

"If you don't like me like that, I understand," said Sportacus, reaching out to touch him lightly. "I don't know why I said that out loud-" 

"Kindly shut up, Sportastutter." 

Sportacus swiftly closed his mouth. When he looked over, Robbie was grinning. "You stupid Sportaflippity, Sportacutey-"

"Sportacutey?" Sportacus gaped. 

"I never hated you, crazy Sportadoof!" Robbie said. "In fact, I think I love you too."  
His voice went soft with the words. "So, so stop being so sorry for kissing me!"

It seemed like Robbie was angry with him. His face was red and he was awfully close, but his words conflicted him. In any case, Sportacus didn't care. He was too happy. 

"Well, can I kiss you again, then?" he asked shyly. 

Robbie grinned. "I would like that." 

So Sportacus leaned in and kissed him again, tilting his head up to catch Robbie's lips. He felt the fake beard stroke both his cheeks when Robbie pulled him in closer, and he smiled.


	6. 6. Teach Me To Waltz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus wants to learn to waltz. Who better to teach him than the Master of Disguise, a man who secretly has a knack for it?

"Let me get this straight," Robbie was shaking his head incredulously. "You want to learn to waltz, and you want me to teach you?" 

Sportacus stood in front of him, beaming. "Yes! That's right!"

Robbie's eyes were wide with bewilderment. "Why?" 

"Why not?" 

"Yes, but why?"

Sportacus laughed. "Because you're the greatest dancer in LazyTown!" 

A tangible blush came over Robbie's cheeks. "Oh, no, not really. That pink-haired girl is better than me." 

"Stephanie is a child," said Sportacus, "and besides, she is better at energetic dances."

"Alright, Sportaflop."

"Great!" Sportacus beamed. 

"Meet me at my bunker at noon tomorrow. Sharp." 

Sportacus nodded. "For sure."

...

When Robbie rose from his fitful slumber the next morning at twelve noon, he opened his bunker to see the sports nut standing nearby, eagerly waiting. 

He grumbled. Clearly he wasn't getting out of this one. 

"Alright, Sportacus," he announced. "I'm ready." 

Sportacus turned with such enthusiasm that Robbie feared he might break his own neck. He didn't, of course. Robbie simply feared. 

"Okay!" said the sports nut. He ran over to Robbie and squeezed through, climbing down into his bunker first. Robbie rushed after him. 

"Don't touch anything!" he cried, his voice rising in panic. Sportacus would disobey, of course, but it was worth a try. 

When the villain reached the bottom, Sportacus was merely standing off to one side. He looked up and smiled. "Robbie, you've spruced up your house!" 

Robbie rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. "Nonsense... It always looks like this."   
He cleared his throat and stepped toward the hero. 

"I'm going to go slowly, so that you catch on to everything," he started cautiously. "I'm not sure you'll be able to pick things up as quickly as I did." 

He moved to the other corner of the room, wherein there lay a CD player. Pressing a button, Robbie smiled when soft, slow, waltz music came on. He swayed slightly as he waded back to Sportacus. 

"But try your best to keep up." he added. 

Sportacus shrugged. "Okay. I can try. You're the expert, Robbie."

Robbie smirked. "I know I am."   
He straightened. "Now, without further ado, let's start." 

Sportacus nodded. "Okay." 

Robbie stepped closer to the shorter man and seized his left hand in his right. The elf's hand was warm - it felt... nice. He shook off the feeling it gave him and returned to the task at hand. "Now put your other hand on my shoulder." he instructed. 

Sportacus obeyed, placing his right hand softly but firmly on Robbie's left shoulder. Robbie couldn't help smiling. Why did Sportacus' touch feel so nice? 

He cleared his throat and continued, "I'm going to put my hand on your waist." 

"Okay, Robbie." Sportacus said. He was smiling too. 

Robbie's left hand glided down to meet Sportacus' side and daintily rested there. He could feel the elf's shape underneath the tight suit - it made it more raw, somehow. Robbie decided he liked it. 

Sportacus looked up into Robbie's eyes. His gaze held a smile within them. "Now what?" 

Robbie looked back at the CD player. The music had risen to a swell, in which all the instruments were now involved. "Now, we dance." he said. 

Instructing the elf on where to put his feet when Robbie stepped in certain places didn't take long. Pretty soon, they were gliding across the lair in each other's arms. The stiff form they had taken initially was broken, made more intimate, when Sportacus moved closer in Robbie's arms so he was touching the villain's chest with his own. Their hands adjusted accordingly - Sportacus moved his hand from Robbie's shoulder up to his cheek and rested it there. 

Robbie's face was flushed pink as he held the shorter man. "You're doing okay, Sportaflop," he said softly. 

Sportacus simply sighed and leaned in, letting his head fall onto Robbie's shoulder. Robbie made no move to get him off. If he was being honest, he liked the feeling just fine. Sportacus was so warm... 

Robbie could feel himself leaning in to the elf, brushing his own head against Sportacus', his cheek against the elf's ear. He turned his head slightly to press his lips against it. He rested them there lightly, feeling the elf's breathing change. 

They slowed their tempo then, as the world started to blur around them. Robbie hadn't expected to feel this way being so close to the elf, but then again he did tend to feel like that from time to time around Sportacus. Especially when he held him in his arms. He breathed out lightly and Sportacus laughed. 

"That tickles!" he protested, flushed. 

Without thinking, Robbie reached a hand toward the brown hair curling around the nape of Sportacus' neck and touched it. It was very soft, almost like down. He smiled, his mouth still on the tip of the hero's ear. "Why don't you take your hat off ever?" he asked. His curiosity was piqued. After all, it was only fair that the man he had pinned flush against his body tell him what his dopey hat was for. 

"I-I well, it's kind of... a secret," stammered Sportacus. His hands clutched the villain's waist. 

Robbie smiled deviously. "I can keep a secret, Sportadork."

He felt a small sigh come from Sportacus as he stroked his small crop of hair. "Well, okay. You promise not to tell?" 

"Cross my heart," Robbie murmured. For some reason, he meant it. 

Sportacus took a deep breath. "I'm an elf," he confessed. 

Robbie squinted, pulling away slightly. "Huh? You mean like the pointy-eared, wood-dwelling beings?"

Sportacus smiled somewhat sheepishly. "How else would I get all my energy?" he pointed out. 

Robbie frowned. Then suddenly, he pushed aside Sportacus' hat to reveal more soft curls underneath, plus - Robbie's eyes widened - pointed ears! He gasped. 

"It makes so much sense!" he whispered, awed. 

For a few moments he just stared at the hero's head, before brushing his hand over the hair and the ears. He didn't notice how Sportacus closed his eyes in pleasure on account of how erotically sensitive his ears were. After awhile, Sportacus gasped softly and had to pull Robbie's hands away. He lowered his gaze shyly. 

"Yes. They are very sensitive, too. That's why I always keep them covered." he affirmed. 

Robbie sighed. "So I can't touch them at all?" he asked sullenly. 

Sportacus smiled. His face was reddening as he offered, "No, I didn't say that. I like it. It feels nice."

With a fond smile and no further ado, Robbie faced Sportacus, his long arms going to each ear. His large hands softly caressed them, brushing them - teasing them - so that Sportacus sighed and grinned, flushed. 

Robbie massaged the appendages for only a few moments before slowly coming closer, until their faces were inches apart. Sportacus, conscious of what was going to happen and aching to feel it, closed his eyes. 

And then Robbie kissed him. 

His ears now forgotten, Robbie moved his hands to Sportacus' face and closed his eyes also. The hero tasted like fruit - strawberries and apples - but as much as Robbie was disgusted with them, the muffled noises and little sighs Sportacus was making made it all worth it. 

He tastes sweet, Sportacus thought over and over again. So sweet, in fact, that he was getting a little drunk off the taste. 

Afterwards, Robbie went back to stroking Sportacus' ears. He wasn't done with him yet, by far. 

...


	8. Author's Note

Hey all who have read and are reading my story,

I'm very sorry I have not been updating. Lately some really sucky things have happened in my life and I just haven't found the time. I aplogize to all of those who have been eagerly awaiting the next chapter, I will try as best I can to update soon, but truthfully I don't know if I will continue this fic. 

Thanks for your understanding.


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